I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
