Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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