I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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