i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
