girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize