i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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