I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
