so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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