I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
