I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
