trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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