Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
