oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
My vagina just clenched in fear
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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