Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
