Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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