At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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