Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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