Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize