If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
