Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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