if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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