I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
