My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
