That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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