I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
