it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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