Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize