Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize