Plan B is the new Plan A
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
