I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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