Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
