Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Randomize
