Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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