I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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