that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
