the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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