if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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