Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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