I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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