I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
