I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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