just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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