So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
