Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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