She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
