wrigley field is MILF paradise
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
