that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
