OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I intend to get homeless drunk
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize