The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
