toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
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