I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Panties = found
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
