the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
