just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Randomize
