He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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